Dentie

i went to the Dentist today &it was wonderful!
i've always liked having someone manhandle my mouth, you know?


anyway, they kept telling me i had beautiful teeth as if they expected a tip for cleaning my already clean & flossed teeth..&then she goes & randomly says, 'but you'll need braces.'
thats when i bit her hand pretty hard & said something i'm not sure any human being would understand..
after a while of making some weird sound & choking on that strong paste they use..i finally came out with 'what do i need braces for?!'
i know i have an overbite..but get this, in the long run my bottom teeth will slant IN my mouth toward the back of my throat changing the shape of my face some & i'll end up getting sores on the roof of my mouth. talk about a fuckin grill. i felt like pretending to pass out..throw up..or bite her hand again, but nothing dramatic could save me from the fact that i'll look like a British bitch in the future...i began to fantasize about my accent, trying to look on the hideous bright side.
because braces are just not an option for me, i wish i had just done it like when i was 12, not now. NO.

NO.

....god no. NO NO NO?! its just that simple. absolutely not. i'll just kill myself around 50..no problem.

i asked her if i was a candidate for invisalign, because the way she described the severity of the ugliness i'll have to face unless my teeth were strapped in their own little strait jacket, made it sound like we were talkin serious head gear. but she told me i was, i sighed a relief & took the knife off of her throat.

i sure hope insurance covers this shit, as much as i see & make fun of adults who wear braces..i'd just be a hypocrite.
what a day! :D