fuck the snow, the suns out...i applaud this. melt away oh wicked, wicked snow.
i hurt myself too many times, had cold hands & feet.
my blood flow seemed to stop & freeze..&then i died.
but then a couple of hours later i woke up w/a bloody nose [think of the 3rd lord of the rings scene when Gandalf came back alive w/the bloody nose & looked malnutrishend...that was me]
ugh, i like when its snowING but hate patches of murderous ice & blankets of frigid ass snow.
please Mother Nature, be kinder. some of us can't do this. stop hating us & bring some warm slutty days. please. i'm dyin.
hello? where has the connection gone?
does anyone listen to anyone anymore? or are our words just noise that fill the void?
when we're talking to someone, who are we really talking to?
i thought i knew, but yesterday i was wrong every time ha.
the weather is divine today, a good day for pictures but can't drive w/a gas less tank.
looks like i'll be traveling by foot at a slow climb.
when we're talking to someone, who are we really talking to?
i thought i knew, but yesterday i was wrong every time ha.
the weather is divine today, a good day for pictures but can't drive w/a gas less tank.
looks like i'll be traveling by foot at a slow climb.
26
well, i havent been to school for 2 days straight.
ever since saturday, things have been deteriorating right in my hands, fine. im not letting anything affect me too badly..
but of course if this shit continues i think i'll have myself a little melt down, barricade myself in my half clean half beat up room & scream for the next 18 years of my life.
i went to work today, ready to make some gas money for school, so i can actually go ya know? i got a classy church crowd w/a fat ass preacher. i mean, he was pouring off of the chair. c'mon. one of the 7 deadly sins is gluttony sir &he orded country fried steak, hash browns, 3 pancakes [which he bitched for until he got them], &3 fucking eggs...so when he started to preach to me i bit my cheek so hard i think ill need stitches asap. he was like 'you saved girl?'
i love him.
church crowds are notoriously bad tippers, so when a crowd of 15 came in...i expected about 5 dollars off them, i always want to say 'wow, i hope your tithes aren't this skimpy..' but they gave me 16. almost a dollar a piece from them [there was more, but i'll explain what happened], i was in awe. as they were leaving i shouted 'God bless'...&that preacher gave me the oddest look & asked where i went to church. i told him the refuge..he wrinkled his nose & handed me his church's thing. &told me id find salvation there. i ripped it up right infront of him & told him that when my healthy fasting preacher comes in to eat he is very nice, understanding, & attentive. thats when he hobbled right over & grabbed his 2 dollar tip off of the table.
i smiled, 'dont bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, you get that hungry.'
gotta love people, right? i was actually pretty relieved..i didnt need his greasy money..or to go to a church where the preacher preaches w/a drum stick hanging out of his mouth. seriously.
thats my work story, i should make a whole serperate blog for these but i dont want to take it too far. my goal is to quit having things to talk about that are work-related..stop losing my temper at work, & just smile like i've got a dick in my hand.
that was unnecessary.
ever since saturday, things have been deteriorating right in my hands, fine. im not letting anything affect me too badly..
but of course if this shit continues i think i'll have myself a little melt down, barricade myself in my half clean half beat up room & scream for the next 18 years of my life.
i went to work today, ready to make some gas money for school, so i can actually go ya know? i got a classy church crowd w/a fat ass preacher. i mean, he was pouring off of the chair. c'mon. one of the 7 deadly sins is gluttony sir &he orded country fried steak, hash browns, 3 pancakes [which he bitched for until he got them], &3 fucking eggs...so when he started to preach to me i bit my cheek so hard i think ill need stitches asap. he was like 'you saved girl?'
i love him.
church crowds are notoriously bad tippers, so when a crowd of 15 came in...i expected about 5 dollars off them, i always want to say 'wow, i hope your tithes aren't this skimpy..' but they gave me 16. almost a dollar a piece from them [there was more, but i'll explain what happened], i was in awe. as they were leaving i shouted 'God bless'...&that preacher gave me the oddest look & asked where i went to church. i told him the refuge..he wrinkled his nose & handed me his church's thing. &told me id find salvation there. i ripped it up right infront of him & told him that when my healthy fasting preacher comes in to eat he is very nice, understanding, & attentive. thats when he hobbled right over & grabbed his 2 dollar tip off of the table.
i smiled, 'dont bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, you get that hungry.'
gotta love people, right? i was actually pretty relieved..i didnt need his greasy money..or to go to a church where the preacher preaches w/a drum stick hanging out of his mouth. seriously.
thats my work story, i should make a whole serperate blog for these but i dont want to take it too far. my goal is to quit having things to talk about that are work-related..stop losing my temper at work, & just smile like i've got a dick in my hand.
that was unnecessary.
frustrated?
i was, i thought i lost my cell phone....so i was freakin the fuck out..throwing shit everywhere,
wailing, going into seizures...i mean i was very upset.
then when i found it, i was simultaneously happy & upset as hell that it would do that to me.
is this what losing a kid feels like? hahahha, because if im having those feelings for a tiny ass cell phone then i have a problem.
wailing, going into seizures...i mean i was very upset.
then when i found it, i was simultaneously happy & upset as hell that it would do that to me.
is this what losing a kid feels like? hahahha, because if im having those feelings for a tiny ass cell phone then i have a problem.
take away our playstations, &we are a third-world nation.
everythings been good other than that little anxiety attack i had...pretty normal. my therapist told me to clean & decorate my room in a way that would make me more inclined to take care of it. &its almost like my mother objects to that....as she does anything thats good for me unless its catholic. FUCK catholic. k?
but, Lee told me that my room represents how i am on the inside...&seriously...its knee-deep in clothes & garbage. i normally exaggerate everything but this is the truth talking. so i've started a very exciting project. :D
anyway, gotta get ready to 'BE THE PANCAKE'.......shit suckss.
I'M MAD AS HELL, &I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
Television is not the truth!
Television is a God-damned amusement park!
Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, side-show freaks, lion tamers, and football players. We're in the boredom-killing business! So if you want the truth... Go to God! Go to your gurus! Go to yourselves! Because that's the only place you're ever going to find any real truth.
But, man, you're never going to get any truth from us. We'll tell you anything you want to hear; we lie like hell. We'll tell you that, uh, Kojak always gets the killer, or that nobody ever gets cancer at Archie Bunker's house, and no matter how much trouble the hero is in, don't worry, just look at your watch; at the end of the hour he's going to win.
We'll tell you any shit you want to hear. We deal in *illusions*, man! None of it is true! But you people sit there, day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds... We're all you know. You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality, and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you! You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even *think* like the tube! This is mass madness, you maniacs! In God's name, you people are the real thing! WE are the illusion!
Network 1976, i love that movie.
Dentie
i went to the Dentist today &it was wonderful!
i've always liked having someone manhandle my mouth, you know?
anyway, they kept telling me i had beautiful teeth as if they expected a tip for cleaning my already clean & flossed teeth..&then she goes & randomly says, 'but you'll need braces.'
thats when i bit her hand pretty hard & said something i'm not sure any human being would understand..
after a while of making some weird sound & choking on that strong paste they use..i finally came out with 'what do i need braces for?!'
i know i have an overbite..but get this, in the long run my bottom teeth will slant IN my mouth toward the back of my throat changing the shape of my face some & i'll end up getting sores on the roof of my mouth. talk about a fuckin grill. i felt like pretending to pass out..throw up..or bite her hand again, but nothing dramatic could save me from the fact that i'll look like a British bitch in the future...i began to fantasize about my accent, trying to look on the hideous bright side.
because braces are just not an option for me, i wish i had just done it like when i was 12, not now. NO.
NO.
....god no. NO NO NO?! its just that simple. absolutely not. i'll just kill myself around 50..no problem.
i asked her if i was a candidate for invisalign, because the way she described the severity of the ugliness i'll have to face unless my teeth were strapped in their own little strait jacket, made it sound like we were talkin serious head gear. but she told me i was, i sighed a relief & took the knife off of her throat.
i sure hope insurance covers this shit, as much as i see & make fun of adults who wear braces..i'd just be a hypocrite.
what a day! :D
i've always liked having someone manhandle my mouth, you know?
anyway, they kept telling me i had beautiful teeth as if they expected a tip for cleaning my already clean & flossed teeth..&then she goes & randomly says, 'but you'll need braces.'
thats when i bit her hand pretty hard & said something i'm not sure any human being would understand..
after a while of making some weird sound & choking on that strong paste they use..i finally came out with 'what do i need braces for?!'
i know i have an overbite..but get this, in the long run my bottom teeth will slant IN my mouth toward the back of my throat changing the shape of my face some & i'll end up getting sores on the roof of my mouth. talk about a fuckin grill. i felt like pretending to pass out..throw up..or bite her hand again, but nothing dramatic could save me from the fact that i'll look like a British bitch in the future...i began to fantasize about my accent, trying to look on the hideous bright side.
because braces are just not an option for me, i wish i had just done it like when i was 12, not now. NO.
NO.
....god no. NO NO NO?! its just that simple. absolutely not. i'll just kill myself around 50..no problem.
i asked her if i was a candidate for invisalign, because the way she described the severity of the ugliness i'll have to face unless my teeth were strapped in their own little strait jacket, made it sound like we were talkin serious head gear. but she told me i was, i sighed a relief & took the knife off of her throat.
i sure hope insurance covers this shit, as much as i see & make fun of adults who wear braces..i'd just be a hypocrite.
what a day! :D
oh, the temporary happiness money brings
1.Sephora
2.The Body Shop
3.Forever 21
4.Countless Thrifts
[ i mean i went buck wild in these places, &spent under 100 dollars..im spazzin]
&i just dont think i could be more materialistically happier.
for the moment.
Mitchie's the shit, like drop drop
CHECK IT OUT
i'm at school, wanting to slap everybody with a pancake & dying to eat some fasst food.
yeah, i put the ass in fast food, that was never even there.
i'm excited for the rest of the day, whats gonna happen?! idk..all i know is, if i curl up in my bed & cry all day i won't be able to spend all my money thrifting my ass off.
there are no problems here. i know which one i'm doing.
god, does everyone have to dress like they just popped out of a scene from twilight? its so creepy to me, youre not vamps. why would you want to be? sick nasty fuckers. i dont trust anyone anymore.
im good pt.2
:'[:/:]:D
Well, my day started off with me watering the plants with my eyes ultimately ruining my eye makeup while grasping two different shoulders..praying so hard i thought i'd pass the fuck out.
it was certainly interesting. anyone who knows me...knows i do not buy into religion, i do not take part in holy wars, i do not pointlessly argue religion or politics, &i do not like to wear clothes unless im going out..so naturally it came to a surprise to me when i got emotionally, mentally, & physically involved in this tom foolery.
but i am not religious, i repeat..i am not religious..i am spiritual. there is something to be said about every religion, i feel there is truth in all of them[granted i don't know of ALL religions]. but the thing is everytime i find a religion i want to be commit to, i feel overwhelmed & i feel like an extremist..it upsets my organs & intestines & every part of me that is suppose to function normally..its horrid really..but it just feels like such an illusion i can hardly stand it.
i know one thing is true...i am FAR from an atheist. if i was an atheist, i wouldve killed myself a long time ago..because whats the point in anything? pleasure?
pleasure & happiness are two c o m p l e t e l y different things. [&thats not an exact quote but its from 'the picture of dorian gray'..one of the best books i've ever read. i love Oscar Wilde]
my point is, there is some extremely wonderful & powerful being lounging around triming the garden of our lives, pouring the espresso in our minds to keep our thoughts spinning, shoving batteries up our asses to keep us going, tickling us when someone falls down a flight of stairs & their face is priceless, &of course...painting a different sky for us to wake up to every morning.
you can look at everything from a scientific point of view, fine. there is truth in science..but i can't strip creation down to bare minerals, i won't.
still trying.
after pouting my way through work,
crying because tables were difficult,
being annoyed at the new guy,
smiling so fake i know i'll feel it in the morning,
&deepthroating countless pancakes..
i found some strange balance.
dont know how long it'll last, these things only seem to hold up until the next obstacle occurs...
i am really not over a lot of things that have happened to me over the years, fine.
all the guys that really put a dent in me, that really dont realize or care or can stomache the fact
that they have really hurt my feelings.
all the drug tests my parents have thrown at me at strange hours in the crack ass mornings..
&all the people that have really wronged me without an apology..
its not you, its me.
i never have really cared enough about myself to pull my cheek from the nazi grip my teeth had on them. i would get hurt, & just sit there dazed & confused...&so passively i'd wait for the oppurtune moment for me to slip into the bathroom & cry while whomever would have a great time blissly oblivious to my sorrow.
if this sounds pathetic, then i've got my point across.
i have since grown somewhat of a spastic backbone & it still sucks to be honest.
today, i told a girl that she embarassed me greatly & i did not appreciate it at all. she said, 'ugh nevermind it! its not my fault'
not the proper response i had expected to get, but i look at it this way: fuck her & the three-legged donkey she troddled in on. i dont have to deal with these chuckie the retards, really. at first, i began to fall into stupper, but i snapped out of it quickly. &told her very calmly that i didnt appreciate how insensitive she was to my feelings & that if i embarassed her i would apologize. she then told me she didnt care..in a little more words than that.
i took a deep breath & told her..as calmly as i possibly could:
i'm about to do 25 to life bitch.
what am i doing wrong? lol.
crying because tables were difficult,
being annoyed at the new guy,
smiling so fake i know i'll feel it in the morning,
&deepthroating countless pancakes..
i found some strange balance.
dont know how long it'll last, these things only seem to hold up until the next obstacle occurs...
i am really not over a lot of things that have happened to me over the years, fine.
all the guys that really put a dent in me, that really dont realize or care or can stomache the fact
that they have really hurt my feelings.
all the drug tests my parents have thrown at me at strange hours in the crack ass mornings..
&all the people that have really wronged me without an apology..
its not you, its me.
i never have really cared enough about myself to pull my cheek from the nazi grip my teeth had on them. i would get hurt, & just sit there dazed & confused...&so passively i'd wait for the oppurtune moment for me to slip into the bathroom & cry while whomever would have a great time blissly oblivious to my sorrow.
if this sounds pathetic, then i've got my point across.
i have since grown somewhat of a spastic backbone & it still sucks to be honest.
today, i told a girl that she embarassed me greatly & i did not appreciate it at all. she said, 'ugh nevermind it! its not my fault'
not the proper response i had expected to get, but i look at it this way: fuck her & the three-legged donkey she troddled in on. i dont have to deal with these chuckie the retards, really. at first, i began to fall into stupper, but i snapped out of it quickly. &told her very calmly that i didnt appreciate how insensitive she was to my feelings & that if i embarassed her i would apologize. she then told me she didnt care..in a little more words than that.
i took a deep breath & told her..as calmly as i possibly could:
i'm about to do 25 to life bitch.
what am i doing wrong? lol.
...
i keep letting people rent space in my head,
for free.
&its starting to get at me.
i'm going to trishia's house to hang out before work i guess.
she lives right by work..why not?
sigh, i feel defeated.
its 5:50, just got off work.
i hate working 3rd shift, because drunks dont leave shit.
i dont get it, who wants all you can eat pancakes when youre drunk? stoned..hell yeah, but drunk?
im not even drunk but the thought makes me not want to see a mixture of lunch & buttermilk pancakes liquefied..
this lady at work is really testing me. i dont settle things with violence usually, but i've gotten there before.
i'm a photography student, i told her this & she asked me to send here pictures, whatever. so i send her some,
she goes..nice angles. [&she probably meant composition..my angles were pretty standard.]
today, she tells me shes not impressed & wants to challenge me to a photo-off b/c she thinks shes better than me..she said her dissposable camera took better pictures. i tell her, i love her personality. she said she'll buy a professional 35 mm [she didnt even know what it was called..i had to tell her] & take better pictures than me.
i quickly explained to her, we can have this so-called duel, but true photography is more than snapping & zooming. i would never show her or anyone else too easily my art. i have never taken pictures to please her & i dont take them to please anyone unless they ask me to.
then she invites herself over to look at my photos.
i say, this is over, have a nice orgasm with your dog tonight.
i dont know why i let this bug me. maybe its because i work so fucking hard to compete in a world full of photographers...i've literally cried when i have to go through 5 rolls of film before i find a decent one..maybe because i work everyday to get better & stick my nose in books studying techniques & different angles.
i work too hard & fail constantly to have some 30 some odd waitress tell me my photo's suck & she can pick up some garage sale camera & take me on.
i KNOW my pictures are ordinary, i just started last spring. i KNOW there is so much room for improvement, but these are things i know & don't settle for. i have a strong feeling that with this art..i'm rarely going to be satisfied only motivated to move forward.
i'm being real immature about this, but i'd love to just punch her in the fucking eye & be done with it.
i should stop wearing my heart on my sleeve & start wearing it in my chest.
i'm not going to have that duel with her, i dont think thats the appropriate response to this.i shouldnt turn passion into competition.
over & out.
i hate working 3rd shift, because drunks dont leave shit.
i dont get it, who wants all you can eat pancakes when youre drunk? stoned..hell yeah, but drunk?
im not even drunk but the thought makes me not want to see a mixture of lunch & buttermilk pancakes liquefied..
this lady at work is really testing me. i dont settle things with violence usually, but i've gotten there before.
i'm a photography student, i told her this & she asked me to send here pictures, whatever. so i send her some,
she goes..nice angles. [&she probably meant composition..my angles were pretty standard.]
today, she tells me shes not impressed & wants to challenge me to a photo-off b/c she thinks shes better than me..she said her dissposable camera took better pictures. i tell her, i love her personality. she said she'll buy a professional 35 mm [she didnt even know what it was called..i had to tell her] & take better pictures than me.
i quickly explained to her, we can have this so-called duel, but true photography is more than snapping & zooming. i would never show her or anyone else too easily my art. i have never taken pictures to please her & i dont take them to please anyone unless they ask me to.
then she invites herself over to look at my photos.
i say, this is over, have a nice orgasm with your dog tonight.
i dont know why i let this bug me. maybe its because i work so fucking hard to compete in a world full of photographers...i've literally cried when i have to go through 5 rolls of film before i find a decent one..maybe because i work everyday to get better & stick my nose in books studying techniques & different angles.
i work too hard & fail constantly to have some 30 some odd waitress tell me my photo's suck & she can pick up some garage sale camera & take me on.
i KNOW my pictures are ordinary, i just started last spring. i KNOW there is so much room for improvement, but these are things i know & don't settle for. i have a strong feeling that with this art..i'm rarely going to be satisfied only motivated to move forward.
i'm being real immature about this, but i'd love to just punch her in the fucking eye & be done with it.
i should stop wearing my heart on my sleeve & start wearing it in my chest.
i'm not going to have that duel with her, i dont think thats the appropriate response to this.i shouldnt turn passion into competition.
over & out.
could you puh-leaze
turn turn turn to honey
i love my communications class, my teacher who lives in my neighborhood is very wonderful.
&i can't wait to do some volunteer work w/my sociology class.
although my photography teacher is a little stand-offish...cant take the ass out of passion for me. so.
ALSO! my commuter class is lame.
this is the most beautiful day of 2010.
i'm looking foward to seeing in 2010 vision this year, i wont let the evils of lifes past, present, or future surpress me any longer. or i'll try. trying was my resolution...&it branches out into a lot of things.
i'm gonna go watch the office & eat cereal. even though i should be eatting something w/more fat & protien so my doctor can stop giving me weird looks that say 'JUST ADMIT YOUR ANOREXIC'
she can bite my big toe, i'm too greedy to starve myself. ha
i have no gas, but i'm gonna make a point to go out & take pictures today before the sun goes down. ill be pissed if i dont go out & it pours for the rest of the year.
i love my communications class, my teacher who lives in my neighborhood is very wonderful.
&i can't wait to do some volunteer work w/my sociology class.
although my photography teacher is a little stand-offish...cant take the ass out of passion for me. so.
ALSO! my commuter class is lame.
this is the most beautiful day of 2010.
i'm looking foward to seeing in 2010 vision this year, i wont let the evils of lifes past, present, or future surpress me any longer. or i'll try. trying was my resolution...&it branches out into a lot of things.
i'm gonna go watch the office & eat cereal. even though i should be eatting something w/more fat & protien so my doctor can stop giving me weird looks that say 'JUST ADMIT YOUR ANOREXIC'
she can bite my big toe, i'm too greedy to starve myself. ha
i have no gas, but i'm gonna make a point to go out & take pictures today before the sun goes down. ill be pissed if i dont go out & it pours for the rest of the year.
im good
i'm not sure where to begin, so i'll start with the end ..
i ended up having a wonderful day..i took the most adorable picture of Savannah, Trishia's little girl. she is so special & when i was leaving today, she said 'bye Aunt Val, i love you'
&i couldve cried, instead i melted & asked her to say it again.
maybe i sound like a creepazoid, but i cant wait to take more pictures of her..not that trish doesnt have enough pictures around her house of her & daniel & the kids. but i want to always remember savannah & tony at their age, ya know what i mean vern?
tomorrow...another adventure..dont even know how i'll find the gas money to get to my classes. i'll have to humble myself enough to ask for money. at least i'm getting better tips now. i told lee on tuesday that its weird, once i started to actually like being a waitress i got better tips.
odd huh? haha
i fought the war, but the war won
my dog is real sick, im almost sure he's going.
&i drove 45 minutes to class only to find my teachers dog was in labor..
im going out to take pictures & go to the gem w/trishia & her keedz.
somehow, i cant seem to be angry or sad or upset, its surreal really.
i got my pack of reds & my camera...being a waitress in a bad economy sucks, so i have no more money for gas...wasted it all today. but it's a beautiful day, Mitchie's mom gave me a coat...i'll walk. :]
so what?
enemy, show me what you want from me..i can handle anything
even if i can't handle you
all the freaky people make the beauty of the world
why do i always end up being the one that feels like a freak?
will there come a day where i'll stand back gawking at the person who has just out freaked me?
little by little i feel myself slipping back into a depressive state, i dont want to get back to that solemn ground of which i left so abruptly. reality creeps me out, i'd rather live in my infacuation filled realm, where everybody is just how i wish they'd be..where even i am how i wish i'd be.
a world where Marco is still alive, &we're still walking around the neighborhood almost every night making wishes & dreaming dreams so big our hearts silently explode & spray onto the lives of the sad ones we love.
God, a world where people care about me & the details of my life. where someone cares enough to try to save me when i know i cant do this alone anymore. it hurts to live, to see what i see everyday, &think so hard that when i squeeze my eyes closed to forget, i'm trapped in lucid memories.
&even though i think i wont use again, i dont see the point in not using. &i've been praying, actually praying to God that he could help me, shed some of his divine wisdom upon me..but all i hear is crickets in the night.
will there come a day where i'll stand back gawking at the person who has just out freaked me?
little by little i feel myself slipping back into a depressive state, i dont want to get back to that solemn ground of which i left so abruptly. reality creeps me out, i'd rather live in my infacuation filled realm, where everybody is just how i wish they'd be..where even i am how i wish i'd be.
a world where Marco is still alive, &we're still walking around the neighborhood almost every night making wishes & dreaming dreams so big our hearts silently explode & spray onto the lives of the sad ones we love.
God, a world where people care about me & the details of my life. where someone cares enough to try to save me when i know i cant do this alone anymore. it hurts to live, to see what i see everyday, &think so hard that when i squeeze my eyes closed to forget, i'm trapped in lucid memories.
&even though i think i wont use again, i dont see the point in not using. &i've been praying, actually praying to God that he could help me, shed some of his divine wisdom upon me..but all i hear is crickets in the night.
weeping will won't you wallow louder?
in a dream i was a werewolf,
my soul was filled with crystal light,
lavender ribbons of rain sang,
ridding my heart of broken light
she says,
hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
hey honey, take a walk on the wild side
&the coloured girls say, Doo do doo do doo do do doo
[click to englarggge]
[photograph by v.gypsie]
"can i keep him?"
-"no, it's illegal"
--"it's illegal to kill them asshole, &i want him"
-"hows youre dying fish Murphy?"
--"...."
[click to englarge!]
[photo by v.gypsie]
cold hands!
so many people are just living for themselves,
its re-dick.
all the cool keedz & their ultra cool palz,
need to grow up & reach out a warm hand to someone else.
we've all been down in that solemn pit of deep dispair, where nothing seems to churn just right, &all our hopes & dreams seem oh so depressingly distant in that land that is so
far
far away.
but when you reminisce about that point in your life where you [think of your loneliest hours] thought about the eventual nature of death & forgot about life's brilliance,
didnt you want a knock at your door, someone with kind eyes & a heart full of love?
with warm hands in the dead of winter,
didn't you want that?
still teen
I dont think
there is anything wrong with the fact
that i'm terrified to be
lonely,
maybe the real problem is
i force that reality
upon
myself, when i shy away from
everyones lives..
jollyjovejelly &then what?
no, today is not the day to be alone. &i can't wait to see mitchie because..
this is the white version of me right now:
hip hip horray
i just re-woke up, it's 4:37...&i want to get hit by a bus or go shopping. doesnt matter which happens first at this point!
i fuck distance all day
Jannel went back to her apartment in Greenville, meanwhile i'll be missing her.
this has been the BEST winterbreak for a long time. Glad i'm finally smiling again & i'm glad to see the same for my dearests.
also, my sappy mood can be blamed on watching 'The Factory Girl' two times in a row when i got home from work.
....while stuffing fudge rounds in my mouth, whispering 'bastard' over & over under my breath.
r.i.p Chloe the rottie
This puppy was shot & killed on 1/04/10by pure ignorance.
this is what the world is now. &it makes me so so SICK.
O Green World
I met someone good the other day, &i'll probably never see him again.
ain't that the way it is?
[10 Things] Whats so great about Brooklyn?
[click on picture to enlarge]
1.Everything!
2.Everything!
3.Everything!
4.Everything!
5.Everything!
6.Everything!
7.Everything!
8.Everything!
9.Everything!
10.Everything!
i guess what im trying to say is..when do i go back & take more pictures?
i love the country, but damn...what is this shit? nobody is awake past 12, &those
are my prime hours.
its silly.
i need to find my soul night owls.
2.Everything!
3.Everything!
4.Everything!
5.Everything!
6.Everything!
7.Everything!
8.Everything!
9.Everything!
10.Everything!
i guess what im trying to say is..when do i go back & take more pictures?
i love the country, but damn...what is this shit? nobody is awake past 12, &those
are my prime hours.
its silly.
i need to find my soul night owls.
Thou Shall Always..Kill
Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim
Thou shalt not worship pop idols
Or follow lost prophets
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, John Hartmond, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrisson, Jimmy Hendrix or Sid Barrett in vain.
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile, some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they became popular
Thou shalt not question Steven Fry
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover
Thou shalt not judge lethal weapon by Danny Glover
Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products
Thou shalt not Nestle products
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriends best friend, take drugs, and then cheat on him
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants...
...use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar, week in, week out Because you once saw a girl there that you fancied; that you're never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals.
No matter how great they are, or were.
The Beatles were just a band.
Led Zeppelin , just a band.
The Beach Boys , just a band..
The Sex Pistols , just a band.
The Clash , just a band.
Crass , just a band.
Minor Threat , just a band.
The Cure , just a band.
The Smiths , just a band.
Nirvana , just a band.
The Pixies, just a band.
Oasis , just a band.
Radiohead , just a band.
Bloc Party , just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys, just a band.
"The next big thing", just a band.
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the 4 elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not Pimp My Ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When i say "Hey", thou shalt not say "Ho"
When i say "Hip", thou shalt not say "Hop"
When i say, he say, she say, we say; "Make some noise.", kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me.
Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix"
P-H-E-O-N-I-X.
Not, P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying; "Izziiit"
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And thou shalt always, thou shalt always, kill.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols
Or follow lost prophets
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, John Hartmond, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrisson, Jimmy Hendrix or Sid Barrett in vain.
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile, some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they became popular
Thou shalt not question Steven Fry
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover
Thou shalt not judge lethal weapon by Danny Glover
Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products
Thou shalt not Nestle products
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriends best friend, take drugs, and then cheat on him
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants...
...use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar, week in, week out Because you once saw a girl there that you fancied; that you're never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals.
No matter how great they are, or were.
The Beatles were just a band.
Led Zeppelin , just a band.
The Beach Boys , just a band..
The Sex Pistols , just a band.
The Clash , just a band.
Crass , just a band.
Minor Threat , just a band.
The Cure , just a band.
The Smiths , just a band.
Nirvana , just a band.
The Pixies, just a band.
Oasis , just a band.
Radiohead , just a band.
Bloc Party , just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys, just a band.
"The next big thing", just a band.
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the 4 elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not Pimp My Ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When i say "Hey", thou shalt not say "Ho"
When i say "Hip", thou shalt not say "Hop"
When i say, he say, she say, we say; "Make some noise.", kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me.
Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix"
P-H-E-O-N-I-X.
Not, P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying; "Izziiit"
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And thou shalt always, thou shalt always, kill.
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Go Go Gadget Meatloaf
