will there come a day where i'll stand back gawking at the person who has just out freaked me?
little by little i feel myself slipping back into a depressive state, i dont want to get back to that solemn ground of which i left so abruptly. reality creeps me out, i'd rather live in my infacuation filled realm, where everybody is just how i wish they'd be..where even i am how i wish i'd be.
a world where Marco is still alive, &we're still walking around the neighborhood almost every night making wishes & dreaming dreams so big our hearts silently explode & spray onto the lives of the sad ones we love.
God, a world where people care about me & the details of my life. where someone cares enough to try to save me when i know i cant do this alone anymore. it hurts to live, to see what i see everyday, &think so hard that when i squeeze my eyes closed to forget, i'm trapped in lucid memories.
&even though i think i wont use again, i dont see the point in not using. &i've been praying, actually praying to God that he could help me, shed some of his divine wisdom upon me..but all i hear is crickets in the night.
No comments:
Post a Comment